Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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