I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
