I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
