He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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