We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
