have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
whose parrot is this?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
