Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
