HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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