Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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