We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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