I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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