i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
