There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
