Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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