hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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