I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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