Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My dick has a subreddit
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
