I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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