that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
