you guys were way drunker than both of me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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