It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
