Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
