I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
