You made me cry and you don't even care
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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