sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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