I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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