I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
cat food counts as protein by the way
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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