when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
True strength comes from lack of pants
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