Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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