I want to stick my p in your. b.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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