So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
