I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
