ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
