They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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