I just cut my nipple shaving
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
