I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
