things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
