You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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