hotel room ftw
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
