i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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