I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
