Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
