I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
