ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
