once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
