dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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