If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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