I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
