yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
