So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
