I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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